Question: “Should you send a ‘thank you’ email or text after a first date?” For more on Rachel Greenwald, visit: www.rachelgreenwald.com To purchase Rachel’s book, Have Him At Hello, click here www.amazon.comYourTango is your source for smart talk about love, sex, dating and relationships. Whether you’re married, single, taken, engaged or “it’s complicated,” check out our videos for the best love and relationship news, entertainment and advice. Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com Become friends on Facebook: www.facebook.com www.yourtango.com | Smart Talk About Love
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Yah, I think her interview research is right on, but I hate to admit it because it makes guys look bad. I do think it’s nice when a girl I dated texts me the next day to say thanks again. BUT, then I know she’s waiting for me to ask her out again because she wouldn’t write if she didn’t want me. If I’m being honest, the girls I’ve tended to really go for haven’t been the ones who contacted me first the next day. Never realized it before, so maybe it was subconscious. Just bein’ honest here!
Ugh….it’s hard to say this is bad advice because I’m sure that there are some guys who don’t want that text/email. At the same time, there are a lot who do want it and won’t pursue you otherwise. I suppose it really depends on the type of guy that you’re looking for. No guy that I’ve ever dated, including my now fiance, would have ever pursued me if I hadn’t sent the thank you. It really can help reaffirm that you had a GREAT time and really DO want to go out again.
bad advice.
I have got to say I completely agree with the majority of “this is REALLY bad advice” comments – if I am on the fence as to whether not it was a good date and if my date had a good time, this will push me over into the positive. If I don’t hear anything, then I am assume she is too busy to bother. And as to the “thank profusely the night of” = it can come across as pro forma and not sincere. So a simple “thank you and lets do this again SOON” the next day or two really goes a long way.
@Sunnyangel37: if you only date for fun, then yes. But then, don’t be surprised if you only attract men that are looking for “fun”, as well. Men who are really interested in a relationship won’t bother themselves with such annoying mind games.
What a horrible advice, and what an ugly prejudice.
Saying that “men need the hunt” is a sexist stereotype as bad as “women are naturally submissive”.
A sane and healthy love always starts with mutual trust and respect. And one way to demonstrate this is to show a small piece of your feelings.
In my opinion, playing with the feelings of another person like proposed here is immature and disrespectful. If you want to tell him that you liked the date, just do it.
This truly is horrible advice. If someone doesn’t show you appreciation after taking them out, you can forget about the second date. And this probably explains why this lady is single.
I completely disagree this. I would be happy to recieve a thank you email after a date, it will really help assure you the date went well and maybe help push it into a more serious direction.
Wow, this girl really needs a reality check. She is probably single.
this is retarted -___- WOW BAD ADVICE
Really….I’d be happy if I got the text, hell if a girl I dated sent a text or e-mail of thanks I’ll be hey you like me I like you how about we be boyfriend girlfriend? I mean this woman seems like she hasn’t talked to a guy in her life because if a guy knows the girl he likes, likes him back then that’d be so much stress taken off his shoulders and allow him to ask her out on a date to see if theirs a any connections.
any man with whom you have to play these little games in order to “keep them” is not the man for you…just be yourselves, ladies!
dating advice speaks in plural for a reason! do you really think you getting into a long term relationship is in their interest? of course not. they want you to fail so they can tell you you didn’t try hard enough & you need to buy their next book. the only person you need guidance from is you, because only you understand what you want, & only you understand the relationship.
I think she’s confusing common courtesy with dating strategies. I’m not asking for a page-long letter begging for me to ask her out again. What I would like to see is a short, simple sentence letting me know that she had a great time. In fact, I’d prefer this “after-the-date text” over the “face-to-face expression of gratitude”.
“Interviewed over a thousand single men”.
Next time, interview the happily coupled men….
bad advice in my opinion.
BOO, keep them guessing? Seriously?
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If you like me, let me know. I like being liked.
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Is that how you girls treat your friends? Make them hunt you, keep them guessing if you’re into them or not? Why do you treat guys like Martians? Just treat them like friends++ and it will work out.
sooooo true, sadly lol
i like it
she is right. It takes the mystery and the fun out of dating!
she is right
1st viewer. i am awesome!